Counter Trouble
by Lauren Williams
Summary: One shot RB While on a mission to make the night perfect Bakura is having a hard time not killing everyone he comes in contact with.


Counter trouble  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own this, maybe some day, but not now.  
  
Notes: TOTALLY DIFFERENT THEN WHAT I NORMALLY WRITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't really remember where this came from but I thought it was so funny.  
  
Summary: While on a mission to make the night perfect Bakura is having a hard time not killing everyone he comes in contact with.  
  
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Ryou really couldn't but his finger on the exact time that Bakura stopped beating him. He could remember the day he confessed his love to him though, it was as clear as a bell.  
  
Yes it's true, Bakura loved his hikari Ryou, and Ryou loved his light Bakura. Not to long ago they had decoded to make it finalized. Bakura wanted to do it right then and there but Ryou refused outright.  
  
*~Flashback~*  
  
Bakura jumped on Ryou kissing his neck furiously but Ryou's hands found their way to Bakura's chest and pushed him back.  
  
"No Bakura, we need to use protection and unless you have it with you now then you have to wait," Ryou exclaimed panting slightly.  
  
"Protection, what is Ra's name are you babbling about?" Bakura said obviously upset that his little mood had been ruined.  
  
"Protection, you know, like, a condom," Ryou said obviously embarrassed about saying it out loud.  
  
"Where did you get such a contraption, was it that pharaoh's baka light?" Bakura asked, he had heard of the thing, and certainly didn't want to use it.  
  
"Please Bakura, I want it to be special," Ryou pleaded, Bakura was about to say no but when he looked at Ryou he couldn't.  
  
*~Back~*  
  
So now, Bakura was out trying to buy some condoms, Ryou had sent him to a place where he could get it easily, he also added to the list lubrication. Another thing Bakura didn't want to go and get.  
  
At the store Bakura had no trouble forcing some guy to show him the condom section and to make his stick around to show him what to get.  
  
"Which ones should I buy?" Bakura asked, as much as he didn't want to admit it he was a little embarrassed about buying something as personal as this.  
  
"Well, it depends on your size man," the guy said, he was a bit stoned at the moment anyway and missed the death glare that Bakura was so obviously shooting at him.  
  
"That is none of your Ra damned business," Bakura raged.  
  
"Dude, I just wanted to know so we got ya the right size, no need to freak out on me, it's like this, small, medium, large, extra large," he said pointing out the boxes.  
  
Bakura looked in thought for a moment and then grabbed the extra large box. The guy had to stifle a laugh.  
  
"Well, there is also different kinds, there's her pleasure, texture, and other ones too," he said showing Bakura these types as well.  
  
"Give me the please ones," Bakura barked out the order. The guy winked at Bakura as he threw them at him. As he was about to walk away Bakura grabbed him by the back of the shirt.  
  
"Not so fast mortal, I need some lubrication as well, my partner wants it," Bakura said as waiting for him to get it, hoping it wouldn't have as many types as the last.  
  
He threw a bottle of KY at him and ran away from Bakura before he could catch him again, then Bakura went to check out.  
  
He had actually learned a lot about the human world ever since he stopped beating Ryou. As he reached the counter he was embarrassed to find it was a woman about to check him out.  
  
She picked up the condoms and went to run them over the scanner when it didn't work.  
  
"I need a price check on Trojan Her Pleasure's," she screamed over the loud speaker. Bakura got very nervous and looked to see if anyone was looking at him. The old lady behind him had a disgusted look on her face.  
  
"This is like that show Ryou made me watch, where I am just trying to buy these condom things and I have a woman at the counter to make me feel uncomfortable and as I feel uncomfortable there is also an old lady behind me thinking I am some sort of sleazebag.  
  
Well for all of your information's I just want his first time to be fucking special, there is no need to look down on that or to try and embarrass me all the way down to Anubis. He has every right to be happy if not more," Bakura said ending in a deep exhale. All of a sudden he heard some clapping behind him. There was like fifty women in the store clapping at him.  
  
Bakura threw all the money he had at the woman and left the store with his two packages.  
  
When he made it home he wasn't in the best of moods, the store scene was playing in his head over and over again.  
  
As soon as he opened the door he threw the condoms and lubrication on the floor and stomped off to find Ryou. He didn't have to go far because before he knew it Ryou had jumped on him and was kissing him over and over again.  
  
When he got free of Ryou's attack he smiled and said, "I guess we will need these more often, will I always get this welcome because I will go every day if I have to!"  
  
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Hope you like, a little different of me to write but I felt like it. 


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